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As the first pucks drop around the state to signal the beginning of the new hockey season there is always a great deal of excitement and anticipation.

Every team is even, tied for first place and players, coaches and parents are optimistically looking forward to a new journey.

From this end it always looks good. Yet everything ahead is an unknown. And that road is full twists and turns, bumps and potholes, heavy traffic and even the occasional collision. But it also has its share of smooth, flat straight-aways, wide-open road with no stoplights or construction. With any luck at all you will get to experience it all.

Hockey families come in all shapes and sizes. Some have a rich hockey heritage, with dads who played and moms who were sisters of players or might even have played themselves, grandfathers who coached and grandmothers who held it all together and made sure everybody got to where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there.

Others are as fresh as a newly resurfaced sheet of ice. Everything is new. Like college freshmen they are constantly looking for answers, how to get where they need to, sometimes getting it right, sometimes finding out the hard way that there might be a better way to do it.

Either way it’s still a journey. Some are just a little more prepared than others, having been on the road before. But even so, each year the trip is never quite the same as there are always changes as players move up from age group to age group, new challenges and new experiences.

Along the way it is very easy to get caught up in all of the excitement of it. In reality, that is what makes the ride so much fun. But at the same time an inadvertent wrong turn can change the experience in a hurry.

Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all guidebook for hockey families. Most of us learn at the school of hard knocks. And while there is no substitute for personal experience, it always is good to start out with somewhat of an idea of where you are going and how to get there.

So in keeping with the theme of this issue of the Michigan Hockey Parents’ Guide, here are my top ten tips for hockey families to help you make the ride a little smoother and hopefully a little more enjoyable.

1. Every player is different and the journey is long. Don’t get hung up on comparing your child with other players. The better kids at the younger ages are often not the better players five years from now, next year, or even by the end of this season. At the younger ages those who skate the best have the best chance of being the better players early on. But through the years the players change and the game changes. Some stars that shine brightly early on can quickly fade. The light switch goes on at different times for different players. You can’t change it. Just let it happen. (See #10)

2. Nobody likes to be yelled at. The game is intense and exciting. It is easy to get emotional and to over-react. Never let the highs get too high or the lows too low. When you talk to your players, other parents or coaches, how you speak might be more important than what you say. (See #10)

3. Referees might be bad. But they will always be right. Expect that from time to time (maybe every game with some people), that in your opinion the referees will be wrong. In fact you might even think they are purposely screwing your team. They aren’t. But they will make mistakes. And in most instances they will make what they believe to be the correct call. And as the referees, theirs is really the only call that matters.

4. More money doesn’t mean better. The game doesn’t have to be a drain on your bank account. There are plenty of affordable hockey programs that provide a wonderful experience for your players. Writing more checks and bigger checks has a greater likelihood of making your experience worse than better, because your expectations will change along with the dollar amount. (See #10)

5. Don’t believe everything you hear. To get your player to play for them, many coaches will tell you exactly what you want to hear. Remember that they are probably telling others the same things. Take a step back and look at the whole picture (and turn down the volume) before you make a decision. (See #10)

6. A higher level is not always better. Pushing your player to a higher level in the name of “development” might just be pushing them out of the game sooner than they might otherwise be. There is nothing wrong with being a really good player at the level your player is at. Not many players get to be that. Having the puck and making plays is a lot more fun than never having it and chasing around those who do. (See #10)

7. Driving long distances doesn’t mean you are going to a better place. While it might be nice that you are willing to spend the time and money to travel great distances so your child can play with and against better players, don’t expect anything more than that long-term. Yes, the games might look better because the players are all supposedly better. But the overwhelming majority of people could have their child play close to home and the players will ultimately end up in the same place as they would with all of the driving. (See #10)

8. The hockey world is big. No matter how good a player is or how good a team is, there are literally hundreds or thousands of better players or better teams around the world. The games, tournaments and trophies won now have no bearing on where players will ultimately end up playing. Be proud of it, but it means nothing as it relates to the future. Past accomplishments mean nothing. What they do in the future means everything. (See #10)

9. It’s all just recreation. No matter how it is marketed or portrayed, it is all recreational hockey. Elite, Super-Elite, Super-Dooper-Elite, whatever it is called or how many A’s are used to categorize it, it really doesn’t matter. Until your player is playing junior, college or professional hockey and being compensated to do so, it is all just recreation. In fact, some levels of junior hockey are just recreation disguised as something else. Don’t expect anything more than that. There is no pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the rainbow. (See #10)

10. It’s up to the kid. It doesn’t matter how badly you want it to happen. You could be a very supportive parent just trying to give your child every opportunity to succeed. You could be the parent who never had the chance and now you have that chance to live vicariously through your child. You could be somewhere in between, a little of both. But it doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it. It is up to the kid. They have to enjoy the game enough to want to do what it takes for them to succeed.

At the end of it all, you will be amazed at how quickly it went by. So don’t fret about where you are going or how fast you are going to get there. Just be sure to enjoy the ride.

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