Former Red Wings forward says fans support of him has been ‘inspiring’

It's 160 miles from Detroit to Grand Rapids, but in reality it’s been much further than that for Darren McCarty.

The Leamington, Ontario native has traveled a long and well-publicized path littered with the disappointments of broken marriages, financial ruin, curtailed career opportunities and periods of self loathing trying to be the mythical man that owned the city of Detroit for nearly a decade.
But on a chilly February night in western Michigan, McCarty stands in the hallway of Grand Rapids' Van Andel Arena in his T-shirt and shorts peeling away the myths and revealing the realities.

Photo by Jane Shafer

Former Red Wings fan favorite Darren McCarty signed a contract with Detroit on February 25 and was assigned to Grand Rapids on a 14-day conditioning stint.

"The big difference is I can be completely honest with myself," said McCarty, who moved a step closer to the NHL when Detroit GM Ken Holland offered McCarty a contract and McCarty signed it on Feb. 25. "I was an internalizer and would sit on things and try to let everyone know things were okay when it wasn't,” said McCarty. “Now, I don't need to be that person. I don't need to be everything to everybody. I just need to be true to myself."

For much of his 11-year tenure with the Detroit Red Wings, McCarty was the man that kept opponents accountable on the ice. It was failure to perform the same role off the ice with his own life that McCarty said got him in trouble.
Despite warnings from the Wings that he could be a rock star or a hockey player but not both, McCarty continued to live the life large.

"I didn't really like - not just last year in Calgary with all the injuries - the last three or four years with everything in my life just disbanding," said McCarty, who said his rock band Grinder is on hiatus. "I was losing control and just not being who I wanted to be.

"I wasn't honest with myself about how much it hurt (leaving Detroit). It hurt a lot more and it hurt a lot more because partly I was to blame for it.

"The toughest thing is to make a mistake and look yourself in the mirror and admit what's your part in it. I didn't do that for a long time."

Laying it all out there
Now, McCarty lays open his life and its foibles like an open book.

He's talked freely about his rehab last summer where he waged a battle to function without having to use marijuana. He's working his way through the complicated issues of declaring bankruptcy in 2006 and he's pared down his inner circle of friends.

If confession is good for the soul, then McCarty is a holy roller.

"I needed to face up to a few things with people and situations and it seems to be starting to work its way out," McCarty said. "It hasn't been easy and simple, but it's been life changing and worthwhile."

What makes it worthwhile for McCarty isn't that he once again is in the headlines for his attempt at returning to the NHL.

No, McCarty is a people person and the people he values the most have re-connected into his life.

"I don't feel like I'm an outsider anymore," McCarty said. "I feel like I'm part of it and that's goes for my immediate family to my extended family.

"The gold medal is to be back in with the family and be a huge integral role in my kids' lives. Priority wise, hockey is down on the list.

"But because I take care of the other things in the right order, it's enabled me to try attempt this comeback and play with a free mind and enjoy the game. Instead of it being a job, it's an opportunity and the passion it once was."

Rekindling that passion came from the most unlikely of sources.

McCarty credits his ex-wife Cheryl with starting him down this road and then supporting him further by offering him a place to stay in the family home.

"The moment for me came last July when she said, 'Don't you think if you find and take care of yourself that everyone who loves you won't come back?'" McCarty recalled. "That's a pretty strong statement coming from your ex-wife who has more reasons in the world than anybody to wish bad things happen to you."

McCarty admits his arrangement with his ex-wife is unconventional in the eyes of most people. But the success of the arrangement is obvious in the way his four children (Griffen, Emerson, Avery, Gracyn) have responded to having their father back in their lives on a daily basis.

As his own reservoir of self-esteem has been refilled by his role as a hand-on parent again, the health of his relationship with his ex-wife has also improved.

"The best way to describe our relationship is it's everything it ever was and nothing of what it was," McCarty said. "There's a lot of love and respect and communication.

"People look at it from the outside and maybe not understand it because it's not normal, but as my sister said ‘we're about as functional as a dysfunctional family gets.’

"Everything we've gone through has enabled us to get to this point."

Room now for hockey
Having done the hard work of tearing away the facade to get back to the real Darren McCarty, the gritty winger once again has room for hockey in his life.

Detroit vice president Steve Yzerman and assistant GM Jim Nill have both been on hand in February to watch McCarty play his first AHL games since 1993.

"I think I'm making progress," said McCarty, who was making as much as 20 times the AHL's mimimun salary when he hauled down $2.25-million with the Wings in 2003-04. "I believe I can play there (NHL). I've got to get myself in more game shape and more game mentality.

"Playing games will do that. I like where my heads at, it's just taking me a little longer to get my body to catch up."

After signing McCarty to a contract on Feb. 25, the Red Wings assigned him to Grand Rapids on a 14-day conditioning loan.

“Darren has earned this opportunity,” said Holland. “He’s made great strides in the past several months and we wanted to give him the chance to continue in hopes he can contribute to the Red Wings once again.”

McCarty’s popularity has often doubled the crowd size everywhere he's played in the state. His Griffins' home debut Feb. 15 was close to a sellout of 10,834 for a team averaging 5,943 fans per game.

"I don't know if they're coming for me or the dollar hot dogs and beer," McCarty said. "I told a few buddies and they said screw you, I'm coming for the hot dogs and beers. I know my mom and sister are coming for that."

Cheap brewskis and dogs aside, it's another McCarty knuckle sandwich the faithful are eager to devour.

Michiganders like their heroes a little bruised and flawed and McCarty has long resonated like a figure from some Greek tragedy. You can almost sense fans willing the man who felled the hated Claude Lemieux in the infamous brawl with Colorado March 26, 1997 and scored the goal that clinched the Wings first Stanley Cup in 42 years 2 1/2 months later back onto hockey's grandest stage.

"I can't express how much the fans' support has meant to me," McCarty said. "I've got some unbelievable letters that are inspiring.

"The one thing, people can relate (to me because) I practically know everyone in Michigan. I've been everywhere and met everybody.

"Maybe they love the underdog. People can relate because they can say here's a guy that's real just like any of us.

"His job is different, but his problems are the same."